tampuhin lang siguro ako lately. but i can't help it. i feel really bad. and mean. and... :(
like a blank page
i'm feeling empty. i feel like i have a lot of things to say, yet all the wrong words come out. i find songs that say it for me instead. but they're not enough. these songs are words of other people. i haven't written in a long while. i haven't found the words. i'm not inspired to write.
i'm smiling and i'm laughing but i'm not happy. and i don't know what to do about it. there is absolutely nothing in this world that can make what i feel right now vanish.
off with my head.
and i'm back to writing. what can i say. the past couple of months has been quite eventful for me. i don't think i can go into details here anymore, what with people from everywhere reading this and stuff. haha. i'm not as brave as patrick. anyway...
i don't really like decembers much. it's that one month where i have to choose. that, or i'm one of the "choices". either way, it sucks. this time, there's three. but i've pretty much taken the 3rd out. so it boils down to two. patrick said to choose the one who would love me best. for a change. though he has a point. i've always chosen the ones i really liked, but in the end are bad for me. (except one, but he went away). this time, patrick said, go with someone who would give me more. or something like that. patrick, ungas as he is, looks out for me - sometimes. just as i try to look out for him - sometimes. lol. so maybe we'd try that. i'm not sure. i've gotten used to being this evil being.. it has its perks. but i think it's taking a toll on my sanity. so off with my head.